NO HEIDIS CLUB

Caffeine is dumb

Fri, 27 Feb 2004 19:28:28 GMT

Oh, you all thought I died, didn't you? NOT SO! I was away at Religious Tolerance camp, then I was helping blind people out, then I was trying to blow Canada up, and after that I was rocking around the country with KISS.

You know, I was pondering life last night and calling Heidi and explaining to her in great detail how I'm going to one day bite her entire face off...when there came a knock at the door. I answered it and my favorite actor ever, ADAM SANDLER was standing right there!

I said to him, "What are you doing here, you comedic god?" And he just smiled and said, "I'm here to announce that I will be making movies forever and ever, all geared at destroying Heidi bit by bit. My latest has me dating a girl with amnesia! AND HILARITY ENSUES!

Adam Sandler, you are a god among men.

Mon, 25 Aug 2003 08:23:57 GMT

After drinking all my decaf instant nescafe latte, I often get in the mood to listen to "Red Rose Speedway" by Wings. Then, I fall asleep and dream about raising children. I love children so much! If I had a child here right now, I'd give him or her a biiiiig hug!

Heidi hates children. I think I'll go kick her in the shins.

Heidi's a bastard!

Sun, 24 Aug 2003 19:38:38 GMT

Heidi sucks. I'ma bust her kneecaps. I'm in her bushes right now on my Heidi-stalkin' laptop. Ha ha ha, is that Styx coming from her room? Anyhow, I just chucked a copy of "How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days" through her window. Now she's screaming. Ha, pansy.